Feelings

[Monologue]
C#m
    Feelings,
               Bsus
I found myself      in a place of sorrow,
                             A
I found myself in a place of grief,
                                            B
And at first, I didn’t have language for it,
All I know was something was off,
C#m                                   
And I couldn’t trace it back to any misstep I took,
                            Bsus
I couldn’t trace it back to,    anything that I've done,
                            Aadd6
That was like a consequence,
I was just, my emotions were just,
               Bsus                    B
I had feelings,    I was feeling a lot,
                   E   
Whether it was pandemic stuff,           
Something I never even knew could happen,
   B                         F#m
Or whether it was relational stuff that was just not working out,
A                   
Friend just not ending, friendships not ending well,
C#m 
    Whether it was just my own personal brokenness,
               Bsus
Turmoil, inner, internal battle,
                   Aadd6
I just had feelings,   still have feelings,
                       Bsus      
And what I realized is that,
                       B                             B/D#
There is a place in feelings where you can honor the Lord,
E             B
  Where I can have these feelings,
                A
And He's not in heaven,
Like hey, get out of that,
Get out of those feelings, don't feel that,
E                         B
   He's not rushing me to get to a place that I'm not,
A                   
   But He's, He's not just in heaven but He's sitting with me in it,
      E/G#
In my tears, in my fear, in my confusion, in my frustration, 

      B
In my questions,
            A
He's siting   here, present with me,
    E/G#                                          B
And I've realized and I've learnt something about Him, in my feelings,
A
  That I may not have learned in the spirit per se,
C#m
   I learned something about Him,
Bsus
   Being the God of my emotions,
                    A
The One who created me,
                                      C#m
That I may not have learned had I not been in this place,
Bsus
   I’ve learned how to suffer with Him,
A
   I think a lot of times before in my life I’ve,
E
Slipped into depression easier,
               B
And slipped into a worldly grief easier,
A
  Because I've tried to suffer without Him,
                        E
But I've learned how to suffer with Him after this process,
B
  I haven't been able to pray like I used to,
                 A
I've learned how to suffer with Him,              
A fellowship, join Him in the fellowship of His suffering,
E      B                                            A
   And that’s what this album is, that’s what these songs are,
My process of lament, my process of suffering with Him,
E                                 B
  Being able to feel my feelings,   but not lean on them,
A
  Father, I thank You for allowing me to have feelings